It is Finished....

I promised I would write this story and here it goes.

     On March 8^th, after 9 days in the hospital it became glaringly clear to everyone that Kevin’s body was failing him. His diaphragm had stopped working, causing his lungs to continue to fill with fluid. He had fought the good fight and now was ready to WIN his battle with ALS and steal the defeat from the hands of our enemy. I told his doctor that we would discuss Kevin’s options in the morning, and that one more night of sedation would be ok. He agreed and we would meet again in the morning.
     On March 9^th, I met the doctor at Kevin’s ICU room and we lifted the sedation and had the hardest conversation I would ever have with my husband. But his smile and his joy could not be contained. He was ready. He looked at me with those big blue eyes and said, “Let me go. I am ready and I am tired.” Of course, I would do what he asked. Now to set in motion what he dreamed. I knew what he wanted, we had discussed it.
     Very early in this journey, we were assured that he would not be healed on this earth and we were ok with that. We knew Kevin’s purpose and God’s will for Kevin’s life. We picked up that cross and ran with it. How many times in your life will you know for certain that you are right in the center of GOD’s will for your life? We knew and we were so determined that we would continue on this road with joy and peace.
    One of the things we did was plan Kevin’s last days and his funeral. (The fart machine was a late entry in the planning, but a funny one.) He knew exactly who he wanted to be there, and how he wanted everything to happen. I was the one who would make it happen according to plan, and with my trusty phone and lots of tears, I did what he asked. I sat on the porch at the hospital and made those phone calls and gathered our family. ALL OF OUR FAMILY! Some couldn’t make it, but those who didn’t already knew how he felt about them, and they knew how much he loved them. I missed seeing their faces, but I knew their hearts were with me and Kevin.
     I am still in awe of my church family. With one phone call, my Pastor Jacob Aranza made the cabins available for my family coming in from out of town. I knew they would be taken care of by my church, and I was both proud and grateful. There are no greater friends (now family) than my church members. We have walked a hard road together this year, but I wouldn’t want to hold any other hands than yours. My OSC family is the best!
     On March 10^th, Kevin’s birthday, we CELEBRATED!!! Everyone had arrived but Kyle & Eden, who were still driving. I made a HUGE pot of Gumbo and we fed the whole waiting area, Nurse’s station and all 60 people who showed up to celebrate Kevin! Of course we were loud, we ARE loud. We took over the place, apologetically. We loved and laughed and teased and giggled our way through the day. It was perfect.  At the end of the day, I saw the love and joy shining in his eyes and knew we had done the good thing. We gave him permission to leave us, knowing we would be together and loving each other like he loved us.
      We went to dinner that night and I had a little freak out, I had to know that I was doing what he wanted. I went back to the hospital and selfishly woke him up and asked him. He rolled his eyes and said “Really, Gina? Do you have to ask me that?” I laid my head on his chest and cried. It really was the only time I questioned what he wanted. And I knew it was foolish, but sometimes I am foolish. I was better after I saw him and talked to him again.
     On March 11^th, it dawned a beautiful day. I was ready and strong. I felt God’s hand on me and knew HE was with me. I walked into Kevin’s room to see my beautiful, strong husband smiling and flirting with the nurse and blowing kisses to me. I repeated his words to me “Really, Connell????” and he replied, “It is a great day to go home!” I opened the curtains, letting the sun shine into the room. It was a gorgeous, clear Acadiana day. I turned on the Praise Music and welcomed our family into the room. Our beloved doctor, Dr. DeAlvare, walked in and smiled at all of us. He gave us the news that we would start at about 11:30am and in his words, “Kevin, you will be home by noon.” It was on….
     We all gathered, family, friends, church family and prayed together, laughed and smiled as we watched him say his farewells. I can’t tell you what was said, or what songs we sang, but I will tell you that it was the most perfect moment of my life. We prayed, and then it would get quiet, someone sang, then we would get quiet. Someone would pray, it would get quiet and out of the quiet, a voice sang a most precious song. Our sweet Alexis Rice sang goodbye to her buddy. I remember thinking, my baby is singing. It didn’t take long. And by 12:15pm, my sweetie flew into the arms of Jesus. He beat ALS. He won the victory and did it with grace and joy and confidence.
     It is finished. I watched everyone say goodbye and leave the room. In the end, it was me and his mom. How precious for her. She was there in the beginning and she was there at the end. First breath and last breath. She knew, as Mary did, how precious to see your firstborn complete their mission on this earth. I believe in that moment, she was the most blessed woman on the planet. And I was so glad she was with me in that quiet room, just looking at him and being thankful that he loved us. She was never more beautiful to me than at that moment.
     Now we move on. Now the life he lived is over, but the life he planned and hoped for me begins. Without him.

Look for the next part…the silliness of Kevin is exposed….

Oscar & Maria

I am in awe of what GOD has done in my life lately. “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart imagined, what GOD has prepared for those who love Him” truly has become my life. Let me tell you about it…..

     On March 11, 2013, I watched the love of my life walk through those Gates into Paradise after a 3 ½ year fight with ALS. This truly was the most precious moment of my life and watching him WIN this fight was as perfect a moment as we will ever get here on earth. I will talk more about that in another post.

    In April, our Arise Ladies Conference was happening, and truthfully I had no intentions of going. I was tired and didn’t really want to be around people. I feared that the Lovely Ladies of our church would want to love on me instead of receiving the grace of love themselves, also I really didn’t feel like I could cope with their grief on top of mine…I know, selfish, right??? But as usual, my Life Group Leader Mary Coffelt, bullied and prodded me into going. She called me and said “I bought your ticket!” WHAT???!!! I did NOT want to go, and didn’t want to commit to going…Oh, Lord, what a whiner!

    SO, I go. What a blessing. It was awesome. I had a blast. I knew that on Saturday I would be racing all over South Louisiana to accomplish what I HAD PLANNED, however, my family and my life group conspired to keep me in Acadiana for the day. My sister in love, Kieran, decided to come spend the weekend with me, claiming she needed a break and wanted to come visit at my house. OK!! She could come with me to the Last Night of Conference which is always a great night of blessing the women of our church. Last year, a woman in our life group got a car….this was going to be awesome.

    I had already planned and coordinated giving Kevin’s Power Wheelchair and our Handicap Accessible van to a man in our church who suddenly needed it. It was a gift to us, Kevin had no need of it and I couldn’t imagine keeping them. Upon arriving at the conference, Pastor Rob Longmire told me they were going to present the van to the wife of the gentleman in need on stage. They wanted me to sit in the front so they could acknowledge my gift….whatever. I could have stayed in the back and been just as happy, but ok, I’ll take the second row…WOO HOO!!! Yeah, and by the way, your life group is going to sit with you too….EVEN BETTER!!!

     Ok, So I cried like a baby when Mitzi got her blessing. Being a part of that and knowing how blessed she was must be how GOD feels when HE blesses us with surprises. I knew Kevin was smiling and GOD was pleased at all of our efforts to help this family. I am still in awe and honored to be used by GOD to make this happen. I enjoyed her surprise and couldn’t wait to hug her after. All too quickly she was ushered off the stage and the last thing I remember anyone saying was “Now, let us introduce our next recipient”…..

     WHAT??? I look up and my daughter’s face is on the big screen, talking…I swear all I could hear was buzzing….it was like Charlie Brown’s teacher…waa waa waa…..Then Nolan was on the screen…then my Life Group….it’s all a blur. I am sure Kevin was laughing at me. It seems that some CRAZY PERSON believes that I am a WOMAN OF COURAGE…I don’t feel courageous. I just was taking care of my boyfriend, husband and love of my life, nothing courageous about that. So yeah, ok…blur continues….I was blessed with a day at the SPA. I remember looking up and seeing Ryan and Brigid on the stage with me….how did they get there???  And then, Miss Michelle gave me a box. I was afraid that they had taken Kevin’s rings and did something with them. Surely, they did not. Oh no, they didn’t. It was a key… a key to a car….Oh boy….Yep, my church family and the Arise Foundation gave me a new car…well, new to me.  A Silver Ford Edge. Big enough to drive my grandbabies around in. I am amazed…and no indeed, I could never have imagined  this is what GOD prepared for me because I love HIM. But there it is, in all its glory. Complete with a BIG RED BOW on it.

          AND I SHALL CALL HIM OSCar….he is my OSC car. I love him. He is wonderful and beautiful and perfect for me. We go all over the place. Oh, my OSCar is awesome. Not long ago, Ryan fixed the Bluetooth and I was introduced to Maria. I think she is OSCar’s wife. She lives with him. She speaks to me. She says “ Phone call from Kieran GInesi.” And “Message from 95601020”. They are my driving companions. I am never alone in the car. They keep me company. Yes, it’s silly and ridiculous….but if you know me….enough said.

 

                                         

      So, that is the story of OSCar and Maria. I am eternally thankful to GOD who thinks I am courageous and worthy of this blessing. And to the ARISE FOUNDATION, Miss Michelle Aranza and Miss Heidi Reiszner. I can never thank you enough for the blessing you have given to me. I am so in awe of what you have done for me and all the ladies of Acadiana. I love you both so much! To Don Mendoza with Don's Wholesale, you really are a blessing to our church and to me. Thank you.

 

     Now, I cannot wait for Arise 2014....