Love one another

John 13:34 says " Love one another. As I have loved you, you must love one another." I thought I knew what that meant.

Before I was a Christian, I loved. In a me-centered way. I thought I knew what loving was. I had great examples, my grandparents, Maw Maw, my parents, my friends....all great at loving. But now I know what I learned pales in comparison to how I love now.

Since I have found what true loving is, my heart has grown exponentially. Knowing how GOD has lavished His love on me, makes me know that I have more love to give. Now, loving is easy. It is not selfish anymore. When I think I don't have any more room in my heart, it just expands even more.

Passionate, crazy, pure, true love has no boundaries - it just is what it is. Passionate! Crazy! Pure! True! FUN! I hear the laughter of GOD when I joyfully love HIS children. I feel HIS smile on me and that is where I want to live.

Wanna come play with me? Just open your heart and come on in.....

ALSucks

Yes, that is Kevin's new motto: ALSucks!

Tuesday, September 28 is a new added day in our list of September events. It is the day our lives are irreparably changed. Kevin's diagnosis day. FINALLY!

I won't tell you that it's ok, cuz it isn't. It just is.

Now, I get to live out what I believe, in technicolor, with so many eyes watching me. I keep remembering the words said to me when my dad died. " Your reaction will either keep your family together, or tear them apart." When I drove up to the door at Mercy Hospital, my entire family was waiting for me. Seeing their faces, I knew that if I fell apart, so would they. They were waiting to see how I would deal with this incredible sorrow, so they could figure out how to mourn. I chose then, and choose now to face forward and hold the hand of my Father and let him lead me.

Heidi Reiszner led our Spa Night this season on JOB. This was a lesson I knew all too well. On my vacation to Tennessee, GOD met me on the water each morning and talked to me about Job and his suffering. Heidi said that Job was living his life, doing good, honoring GOD and praying and making sacrifices for his children. (Sound familiar?) The devil was roaming about causing havoc. (Sound familiar?) When the devil came before GOD, GOD ratted out Job. "Have you considered my servant Job?" WHAT????

"Have you considered my servant, Kevin?" What an honor to serve GOD this way. Not our plan, but HIS plan.

I, however, will NOT be Job's wife. She had such helpful advice: "Curse GOD and die" - Are you kidding me? I choose to be Kevin's wife. Praying and laughing with him. Loving him with all that I am, as usual. Teasing him, threatening him as we have done for these 28+ years.

Thankfully, we do not have JOB's friends. Those 3 were quite unbelievable. Our friends have shown us so much love and support, I am amazed. Our families are wonderful and so encouraging. Ready to do whatever we need at any time. I have realized quickly how blessed I am.

So we begin this walk, one labored step at a time. I will continue to write about our adventure. Knowing only this one thing, in everything we will let GOD alone get the glory. HE alone will get the praise. I will trust HIM to lead us in everything, every decision and every minute of the rest our our time together.

The Hilarity of Birthdays.....

OK....let me review:

My birthday is May 15...MAY people...

March 15th dawned beautiful and wonderful...so what? My drive to work was uneventful for a change....Lafayette's version of morning traffic is 6 cars at the red light...WOOOO. I love my job, so working is never an issue for me, I love it. My crazy cell phone rings and I hear the voice I love singing Happy Birthday to you.....WHAT???? I wait for an appropriate time to interrupt and say "May 15th" the singing stops and she says "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" to which I repeat "MAY 15th". Cheryl Ann Johnson Rice says "Your birthday ISNT March 15th? But that is what I have on my calendar!!!" Now, I love Cheryl Ann Johnson Rice, but a sillier woman cannot be found on the earth.....so we just giggle and cut up!!! She has a list of things she will NEVER live down and this is one more.

April 15th, similar scenario...only it is one of the Court Reporters that I work with and she calls to say (no singing this time) Happy Birthday...same response " May 15th"...WHAT??? And yet another giggle session and I just smile.....

Really, my birthday IS May 15th. The lead up to the day has been so much fun, I cant wait for the big day. I will proudly be 48, I have accomplished much and yet have still so much more to do. I have my love, my Kevin, who gives me love, joy, laughter & the promise of the rest of our lives together, 5 of my own wonderful children, a daughter in law & 1/2 that I love both so much....a Grand Daughter who I adore. Those are mine. I have scads of "adopted" children who call me Mom, who have stolen parts of my heart that I willingly surrender. They are mine too. I have a huge family that keeps on growing that I love love love. They are all mine too. So on my day, whether they all call singing or not, whether we are all together or not, I look at all the Lord has given to me and I am thankful.

But singing Happy Birthday on NOT my birthday is still pretty funny.....

How Much?

After spending days reading, putting down, picking up, staring at the cover, putting down.....I am finished reading THE FORGOTTEN GOD by Francis Chan. What on earth possessed him to write this book? I mean really! Read it at your own peril.

So now what? Here is the question that I just cannot get out of my head....."How much of my life do I want the HOLY SPIRIT to control?" Yeah, go ahead and answer that one fast....I dare you.

It's easy to say all of it. And say it quickly, and then rethink it. I can honestly say, I don't know how much. Can HE control my mouth? Wouldn't that be interesting. Can HE control my thoughts? Can I really have the mind of Christ all the time? What about what I do with my time.....with my money....with my life? How about that movie that I really want to see-Does HE want to see it too?

So, I will start small....I will give HIM my focus in my prayer time. I will ATTEMPT to ask HIM before I do anything. It's hard going to someone to ask if HE wants me to do whatever....what if HE says no? Then I can't do it.....submission is difficult. At least I am brave enough to admit that I am struggling with this. I WANT Him to be in control...just not so much.....my humanity is fighting my divinity....

Get the book, read it and then you are responsible....PLEASE someone else be with me in this misery.......

Do it...lame apology later

I have found this new dynamic interesting. It seems that it is cool to act badly, hurt people and generally misbehave horribly-then when everyone knows what you have done-issue a lame apology.

"I didnt lie. I mis-spoke"
"Do you believe me or your lying eyes?"
" I have hurt my family. Please give us our privacy."

Why not think before you act and an apology may not be necessary! Guard your words, they have power. Maybe the 100 day rule should apply....or even a 10 day rule....consider carefully the effect your actions may have on the people you love and who love you.

How big is your GOD?

Ok so I am back, and I will make a better effort to keep up with my blog.

Over the past few days, I have watched and wondered what exactly GOD is up to with Kevin and I. He is doing some pretty crazy things with us. But I like crazy....but in everything I have just smiled and understood that some things take time to process. I am finished processing and have come to the conclusion that HE is asking me "How big do you think I AM?"

I have never ever spent time wondering if I trust HIM or not, I am childlike in that way-I just trust HIM. HE has never given me a reason to NOT trust HIM.

I have never ever question how much HE loves me. I am easy to love, for most people (certain parental excluded). I love how HE loves me. I am HIS child, HE handcrafted me. He takes joy in my craziness and my weird look at life. HE has shown me the humor in HIS creation and I enjoy seeing things through HIS eyes.

I have learned to be obedient when HE tells me to do things for HIM. I have learned to do it quickly, I can sleep when I do. If I delay obedience, HE has a way of making my sleep unsettled and my heart out of sorts until I just go ahead and do whatever HE has called me to do. Delayed obedience is still yet disobedience. He will send people after me to remind me what HE called me to do....that is never fun. GOD's posse has no mercy on my feelings or my unwillingness to do HIS work quickly.

Now HE has asked me to examine how BIG do I think HE is? WHAT????? IS HE BIG ENOUGH??? My immediate answer is YES OF COURSE. But do I really believe it? I have walked with him for 22 years and NOW HE wants me to consider this? Really?

Yes, HE is big enough to do miracles I could never ever imagine. I am asking for a big miracle and I am determined that HE is just that BIG....In my mind, when He tells me to come before HIS throne of grace boldly, I know that I can only see the little bit of the tip of HIS toe as HE sits on that throne, the rest of HIM is way to big for my little mind to comprehend. So , I am content to visit and talk to the tip of HIS toe. Now, that is not sarcastic or meant to be funny, it just is all of HIM that my frail human eyes can take in.

I dont think HE wants to me examine how big HIS physical body is, HE wants me to consider how BIG his WILL IS. I believe it is HUGE for me. So, for the next 30 days I am going to pray that HE will reveal just HOW BIG HE IS.

How big is HE to you????

What a wonderful MIRACLE filled day.

First miracle-SNEAUX in Louisiana. REAL LIVE SNOWFLAKES were falling around my home this morning.

Let me go back, YESTERDAY I was worried and fearful for Megan Stork Martinez and her brain surgery. This morning GOD washed away my worry and fear with beautiful fat white snow falling from a wonderful heaven. I knew it would be a great day. I felt like a little kid watching the snow falling at 5:15 this morning standing in my doorway under the driveway light.

Second miracle-MEGAN! Go see her blog: http://megan.storkschoice.com/

GOD IS SO GOOD! I cant help but Praise HIM for who HE IS.